


Forgive, O Lord

by chanyeolk



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Total blasphemy oops, crossposted from tumblr, vague smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanyeolk/pseuds/chanyeolk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He will never forget the kitchen chair that Baekhyun sat him down on with the simple whisper of “Relax.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive, O Lord

**Author's Note:**

> Title derived from a Robert Frost poem of the same name

_The best boys go to church every Sunday. They read from their Bible every night. They understand and they forgive. They are kind and caring, putting others before them. They set aside time for prayer. They repent._

Chanyeol remembers the words of his mother like they were playing through the earbuds in his ears, reminding him that he had sinned and that he had gone against every last guideline set by his parents and the Church in the last few months. The Devil came to tempt him and he let himself be swayed like a sapling in a hurricane. Chanyeol practically offered himself to the fallen angel next door; Satan in the form of the most beautiful human being he had ever laid eyes on. 

Baekhyun had moved into the apartment next door soon after Chanyeol’s twenty-second birthday and the dawn of his first year truly on his own. He was worlds apart; hair never brushed and clothes never exactly clean. Chanyeol tended to be all pressed pants and collared shirts, hair combed neatly and always washed. While Chanyeol tended to wear a gentle smile at all times, Baekhyun always seemed to have a devious smirk playing on his lips that left Chanyeol rushing through his door and breathing heavy, wondering why on Earth he was so flustered.

Chanyeol introduced himself formally after Baekhyun had been living in the complex for nearly two weeks. He knocked on the door with a basket of assorted baked goods that the other took with a _hell yeah, thanks man_ and left telling him, “ _Have a blessed day!”_

They didn’t speak much, though, aside from Chanyeol’s kind _good morning_ every now and then that was topped off with his usual smile. Baekhyun seemed to fly with a crowd that Chanyeol was instructed had little chance of salvation. Yet, every now and then, Chanyeol found himself tempted to knock on his door and invite him over for dinner. 

It wasn’t until Chanyeol went out one morning to do laundry, clad in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, that he knew for certain that God must be testing his faith. He had run into Baekhyun in the laundry room, the other boy looking him up and down from head to toe and saying with little restraint, “You look good enough to eat.” Chanyeol had never felt so embarrassed in his life; however, he couldn’t shake a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He never did get around to doing his laundry for a while.

Summer rolled around, and Chanyeol’s mother passed. After the funeral, he invited family and friends to his house for dinner and company in the wake of the events. Baekhyun showed up in black slacks and a button down to offer his condolences, but Chanyeol couldn’t focus on anything except the way that the top two buttons of his shirt were left opened when he smiled softly and thanked him. Baekhyun didn’t even get any food before leaving.

Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to believe that his mother was in a better place, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but worry on her behalf. It could be said that at this time, he had begun to doubt. One night with no sleep and no prayer time turned into two, and then a week. Home cooked meals turned into small snacks or nothing at all. His time normally spent reading turned into time spent remembering the angles of Baekhyun’s jaw and how his lips might feel against his own. Chanyeol only felt the slightest bit guilty between the feelings of grief.

The first time in his entire life that Chanyeol skipped church for no good reason is the day he caught sight of Baekhyun down by the pool. He was shirtless, body wet and glistening in the sun. Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to know what the other’s skin would feel like under his fingertips, and while it terrified him, his feet seemed to move on their own accord towards the pool. Baekhyun gave him this look like he could see right through Chanyeol. Right from the nervous look on Chanyeol’s face, he could decipher all of the boy’s innermost thoughts and desires. 

Words didn’t need to be exchanged, only glances that said more than any words could anyways. Baekhyun had gotten up from the pool chair, ran a hand through his wet hair, and nodded in the direction of their building. Chanyeol followed obediently, eyes wide like a curious child. 

He will never forget the kitchen chair that Baekhyun sat him down on with the simple whisper of “Relax.” Baekhyun tasted like tobacco and something sweeter on Chanyeol’s lips and on his tongue. His thighs on either side of Chanyeol’s, Baekhyun kissed him right back into the feeling of being saved that he hadn’t felt in a while. He carried Chanyeol right to the gates of Heaven soon after when he got on his knees in front of him. Chanyeol came with a stuttered _Jesus Christ._

He spent that same night in tears, on his knees by the foot of his bed and begging for forgiveness because _I somehow ended up doing everything all wrong._

Chanyeol went back only three days later and returned the favor over a bad comedy film and takeout. 

This happened every so often for a few weeks; Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanging blowjobs and handjobs over poorly made food and hardly-decent movies. The orgasms Baekhyun brought him to were the closest to God he felt he could get. 

“What happened to the good little church boy?” Baekhyun asked somewhere along the timeline, pupils blown and lips slick with spit and precum. Chanyeol had only replied with a groan and used the hand he had entangled in Baekhyun’s hair to push him back down. It was a question he didn’t have the time for.

Fall came, bringing colder weather and busier days. Chanyeol hadn’t gone to church in weeks, finding a new religion in the way he felt with Baekhyun. They spent most of their free time together. While it had progressed into being more of a relationship than a friends with benefits situation, a good portion of their time together was still spent on getting off. 

The first time they had sex was the same night Baekhyun told Chanyeol that he no longer wanted to see him. It started off with making out on the couch. Baekhyun had climbed on top of Chanyeol and said he wanted to try something different. He rode Chanyeol into a chorus of _hallelujah_ and _oh God_ that had him gasping for breath and believing that Baekhyun might have very well been a deity of his own accord. 

After they came down, both dazed and sweaty, Baekhyun had confessed that he was seeing someone else. Chanyeol had confessed that he was in love with him with a defeated plea of _don’t leave, Baek. Please._ Baekhyun only walked out of Chanyeol’s apartment faster than he ever had before.

For the first time in nearly two months, Chanyeol returned to church. He sat on his knees between the pews rather than between Baekhyun’s thighs, and it felt foreign. It felt like he didn’t belong there. Every breath he took was stealing something sacred. 

There were tears and there were desperate cries for forgiveness. _Never again will I stray._

He stopped missing Sundays. He began reading his Bible again every night. He forgave Baekhyun. He set aside time for prayer. There was not a day that passed by that he didn’t hope for forgiveness for what happened between him and Baekhyun, wishing it never happened but trying not to dwell in regret.

Things returned to normal. Nearly three months had passed and he was okay, his faith as strong as ever. When he passed Baekhyun in the complex, he could comfortably bid him a good day. 

Chanyeol knew now that when he made eye contact with Baekhyun in the laundry room and the latter boy gave him a devious look, it was God’s way of testing him. He would be strong this time around. 

It was only a few more weeks before he was fucking Baekhyun again, broken and muffled chants of _Jesus Christ_ echoing around that very same laundry room.


End file.
